To our surprise, the days between our last beta test and the first ultrasound were really difficult to get through. Honestly, this past Thursday could not have come quickly enough. We were all aware that at only a few days past 6 weeks we were still just barely pregnant, and we anxiously awaited the confirmation that everything was progressing normally.
Neither Elle nor I got much sleep the night before our appointment, and when she texted me almost a full hour prior to our scheduled time to say that she was already at the hospital, I realized how much her nerves mirrored my own. Not much later, Kyle and I sat on the couch together with my laptop on our laps and waited in tense anticipation. I was trying not to think about how badly I wished we could be there in person when the call suddenly came through and Elle’s smiling face filled our screen. Days before she had called the hospital ahead of time to get permission to Skype with us during the appointment and was told that they would have to find the heartbeat first, just in case something were to go wrong. Receiving that call meant that everything was great, our baby was okay!
Elle angled her phone so we could see the screen and image of our baby. Most people don’t get to see their little ones until the first ultrasound, but we had already been able to see ours as a microscopic embryo almost a month ago. Since then our baby had grown more than 10,000 times its size! A disembodied voice explained that everything looked ‘perfect’ and pointed out a few features for us, including a little flutter that represented the heart. Finally we heard the sweet sound of baby’s heartbeat and, just like that, our lives had been changed again. Tears streamed down my face in disbelief that we are lucky enough to experience such a miracle, and suddenly it didn’t matter as much that we weren’t able to be there.
Elle put a CD with the ultrasound photos in the mail on her way home and two days later it was dropped on our front porch in a little box. I ripped open the package immediately, and was surprised to see a kangaroo stuffed animal with a baby kangaroo in its pouch. As soon as I squeezed it the sound of baby’s heartbeat came from inside and I sat down on the floor to cry all over again. I was so touched that Elle would think of doing this for us.
I’ve debated back and forth on whether or not to post our ultrasound photos here for a little while. Over the years that we struggled, seeing similar pictures pop up in various places without warning was horribly painful. In January when my sister-in-law, Audrye, became pregnant with their first, she decided on her own to keep their photos off Facebook out of consideration for me. Instead, she created a blog to post ultrasounds and updates for loved ones and gave me the link for when I was strong enough to read it. I appreciated her thoughtfulness more than I can say, and so, I am going to follow her example and keep all of our ultrasound photos on a separate blog page for those who wish to see them. Out of respect for the amazing individuals I’ve met on WordPress who are still going through treatment or dealing with difficult days, I will not include the photos in my posts (and they won’t show up on your Reader). I also plan to keep them off Facebook even though I don’t know of any friends who are currently dealing infertility. Chances are that someone on my friends list is hurting privately over this issue, and I want to be careful of their feelings whenever possible.
Not long ago, before we had reached our second transfer, Kyle and I impulsively planned a trip to Nova Scotia & Prince Edward Island this summer. I had pretty much figured the transfer was not going to work and decided that we would need something to look forward to while preparing for another round of injections and treatment. We had already made plans to start cycling immediately after receiving our results and booked flights for the only free time we would have available: this week. Well, things did not turn out as I had expected (thankfully!) and so we have found ourselves on a trip that has conveniently turned into a babymoon (nevermind that this is the third consolation-or-babymoon trip we’ve booked over the years).
Now that we are in Canada, we probably won’t be updating this blog until we get back, but in the meantime you can follow along on our travels here: https://citycoastandcountryside.wordpress.com
And, if you’d like to see the ultrasound photos, you can click here: https://inpursuitofafamily.wordpress.com/ultrasound-photos/